This Is Spinal Tapped
The closest David Wright is to getting on the field is to smell the glove. The doctors have diagnosed him with spinal stenosis, which is the narrowing of the spinal column. "That sounds awesome, my...
View ArticleDraftKings: Don’t Ignore the Trends
Sometimes you think you know what a player is. He's a stud. He's a stiff. He's hot. He's not. And so on. Players get labels pretty quick as they come into our consciousness and it's awfully hard to...
View ArticleWolfgang Ahmeniscus Cozart
Member how I was saying yesterday that I owned Zack Cozart in multiple leagues, and he was a top five shortstop this year on our Player Rater, but I didn't really appreciate him? Do I even need to tell...
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DraftKings: Ramirez Stars In Erasmo-head
That face says it all. It's the face of a man who's seen some $hit. Like a DK LU that rostered Carlos Frias for his -18 point implosion. I mean, the scarring just don't heal. It's also the face of...
View ArticleMax Retires 27 Batters, Hits One Tabata
Before you accuse Jose Tabata of leaning into a pitch with two outs and Max Scherzer on the brink of a perfect game, let's take you back to 2009. The then 19-year-old Jose Tabata was with his wife, the...
View ArticleOPS Leagues: Cogh in the Machine
So, an old boss of mine used to talk about how she was friends with Chris Coghlan. This was back when Coghlan was kind of hip and new. Back when Coghlan won Rookie of the Year (the kind of ROY where we...
View ArticleNola Tengo
"I don't know what my face is doing right now." "It looks like you ate a full Tony Luke's cheesesteak and forgot to swallow." "No. I mean, I did, but I took the sub out of mouth and put it in my glove...
View ArticleYogi Buy Loves To Pick Nick
What do numbers call their father? Data. Thank you, Highlights. You taught me so much with the juxtaposition of Goofus and Gallant, and you've entertained me for thirty years. One copy, that is well...
View ArticleToo Hot To Randal
Cardinals outfielder Randal Grichuk continued to hit all the baseballs last night chipping in two hits and a two-run home run to help beat the Braves. Randy! Randy! Randy! Randy has been quite randy...
View ArticleCreeper of the Week: Preston Tucker, The Fifth Outfielder
Greetings, weekend warriors. Your resident creeper, J-FOH, is unavailable this week due to either a mani/pedi or macaroni, I'm not quite sure. Bad phone connection. But whether he's tending to some...
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Matt Kemp Did Something?
Look guys. There's where all my skills as a player went. Floated away, like a cloud... It's been a while since I've done one of these round-ups, and to be honest, hanging out over at our Fantasy...
View ArticleSully Sells Seashells By The Sawx Shaw
After the first two homer-game, I was like, "Yo, Grey, stop twirling your mustache and trying to squeeze into your Z. Cavariccis from high school and check out Travis Shaw." And I did. Only, I wasn't...
View ArticleBear or Bull: The Late Blooming Cog(hlan)
Late bloomers can be found pretty much anywhere you look. Do you remember that Jose Altuve-like kid in junior high who was at least six inches shorter than the next tallest boy in the class? I know I...
View ArticleOPS Leagues: The Great White Sano
Tehol was enjoying Shark Week while Miguel Sano was bashing mammoth home runs a while back. Appropriately, he gave the Dominican-born Sano the fantastic nickname, “Great White.” I’ve got to say, I have...
View ArticleFiers On Fire, Burns Dodgers
Mike Fiers threw the first Astros no-hitter by a single pitcher in over 20 years last night and the very first no-no in Minute Maid Park to make his way into the Houston record books, alongside Houston...
View ArticleDraftKings: Captain Obvious Suggests Clayton Kershaw
On this fine summer Sunday I will play the role of one Captain Obvious and tell you to start the best pitcher in baseball. I don't condone buying the most expensive pitcher of the day regularly, but...
View ArticleThe Creeper Ball Run And The Top 100 Hitters, Week 21
I'm channeling some inner-Albright this week. Seat of your pants son! Speaking of Grey, I used the photo he took of me giving him the Larry Bird for my new avatar since it made sense to me that I...
View ArticleDraftKings: INXCES
So you’re telling me if the Mets played in Coors field every night, they’d be the highest scoring team in baseball instead of bottom 5, where they were pre-Coors? Huh, 33 runs in 3 games ain’t too...
View ArticleHi Ho The Berrios, The Pitcher In The Buy
Let's start on Jose Berrios with what Prospect Mike said, "Berrios has a great starter’s arsenal with a plus fastball (sits mid-90s) and a plus curveball coupled with an above average slider and...
View ArticleDraftKings: Sitting Dead Reds
Greetings to the end of August which is a firm reminder we're just one month away from the fun ending. Or for some of you, the question might be...did it ever really begin? Well no worries because if...
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